They are so smart and in synk with my brain-junk that I wish they could, I dunno, ... test stuff out for me.
Cuz ya see, I've never seen a picture of them. Are the people, humans?
Maybe they are some sort of wonderful computer music program... more than a music program?
Perhaps I could download them into my computer and maybe they do other stuff for me.
Such as: test a new friend I am making, that although I am having a lot of fun with, am still receiving a wierd "vibe" from.
Boards could go in and test that friend and see the deeper, stranger, truer, truths that person held.
They could report back to me:
---------
Welcome to Boards of Canada
...
User Logon:
//Audry Marie Wolters
Load:
//Friendship
...
These are the parameters of friendship that Boards of Canada can compute:
True Friend
Friend
Acquaintance
Reluctant Antipathy
Antipathy
Full On Hatred
Input Potential Friend:
//James Tiberius Kirk
.....
..
...
The human in question, James Tiberius Kirk, has been analysed.
Loading image:
...
Reports show these details:
...
Fun-ness: 10/10
Honesty: 6/10
Un-Bro-ness: 2/10
Eco-Friendliness: 7/10
Say What?-ness: 10/10
Science Dedication: 8/10
Fashion: 10/10
Likes Cats: ?/10
Stuff: 7/10
Boards Of Canada predicts friendship parameters between Audry Marie Wolters and James Tiberius Kirk to be at best:
**due to lack of knowledge of "Likes Cats", Friendship results have a 9% error margin**
True Friend: 60%
Friend: 90%
Acquaintance: 100%
Reluctant Antipathy: 20%
Antipathy: 02%
Full On Hatred: 00%
Boards Of Canada recommends that Audry Marie Wolters engages in
Friend
and
Acquaintance
with
James Tiberius Kirk.
Let Chance Be Fortunate Unto You
-Boards Of Canada
----------
That's all I ask. Is it so much?
